Do you ever have that feeling that some thing is wrong or off, and then you get that call that says your spouse was in an accident. Man, now isn’t that just a slap to the face let me tell you. The moment I found out that my hubs was in a hmmv roll over and is now in intensive care, I all but fell to my knees and dropped the cake out of my hands. I would say that that was the fastest I ever drove from Orange Grove, Texas to San Antonio. After the dust settles and your spouse is on his/ her way to recovery, the hard road is not over yet. How do do you support your spouse is the next step in that journey.
Now isn’t that the million dollar question. I don’t have all the answers and I’m not a genius in this department, but I can share ways that helped my spouse get thru those hard times.
There will be times when your spouse will be determined and there will be times when the hopelessness will hit unexpectedly. The problem is finding ways to coup with the bipolar emotions that they are dealing with and that can take patience and understanding.
1) Give advice and talk to the doctor together
One way to support your spouse is to always encouraging them and give advice. Let them know that that they can succeed. Let them know its ok to cry or feel upset or down. My husband was so depressed during the recovery process. He thought he would never heal and that there was always another hurdle to jump. Your words and your voice can help push them thru brick walls, but try not to nag. Injured or not, nagging will send them into anxiety mode.
2) Support your Spouse by Listening
Secondly, you should listen. Yea we can tell them everything will be fine but sometimes they just want to vent and scream in frustration. All they need is your ear. Someone to listen to there issues and not judge them for their predicament.
Thirdly is to aide them. If your spouse isn’t able to walk or getting for themselves, knowing that your there to help them gives them reassurance. Make them feel as comfortable as possible. Although, there will be times they don’t want the help and are too stubborn to ask for it. That is where your patience comes in. I mean I wanted to throw the iv monitor at his face some times for being so pigheaded, but I new that I would make maters worse for him, you know the stress thing. Patience is key for you. Also, Help them log medications. Its a dozy how medications have to be taken and if that is another stressor to take of there shoulders that great.
4) Being by their side
Again, its interesting how all theses play off each other. But finally, being my their side, is probably what they need the most. After such a traumatic event, it would be a wonder that they let you go to the bath room. They are scared, even if they don’t want to tell you, they are. They need to know that you are there and that you wont leave them alone to handle this stressful situation.
Okay so now that we went over the ways we can help support our spouse emotional, close your eyes and see if these suggestions would help you thru your trying times. I’m sure its not easy in any situations and not all of these suggestion will work but, try to putting yourself in their shoes in moments of frustrations. The last thing I want to leave you with is to remember that patience is key. Happy healing!